Brooklyn Nine-Nine – Holt’s One-Liners: A Bold Personality (Mashup)

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[triumphant music] You know me. I see a pair of thick,
weighty breasts, and all logic flies
out the window. Let’s unleash hell. Am I just a piece
of meat to you? Yes. Now put on a smile, porkchop. I will slit you both
open from mouth to anus and wear you like jackets. You really made
the balloon arch. Made? No. I birthed her. It’s time to make daddy proud. Yes, sir. I could not have been more
clearly talking to the dog. A bold personality? We know what that’s code for. She’s a bitch. The night shift stinks. Stinks like a butt. The kid, Anne– who
should we him up with, huh? Oh, now, you know I’m still
getting over the tragic loss of my wife. She was such a
strong, female woman, with nice, heavy breasts. D-d-d-d-d-Derek. D-d-d-d-d-Derek! Boost my bottom! I’m boosting! Boost my bottom! I’m boosting! Boost it! John Philip Sousa,
the Scrillex of his day. Bone! What happens in my
bedroom, detective, is none of your business. Bone! Hello, Sexerella. Oh, I’m fully freaking out. I just experimented with an
unfamiliar acronym in public. BRB. What does it even mean?
– Be right back. That has the same number
of syllables as the acronym. What’s the point? I’ve never been more proud of
you for anything in your life. I mean– I’ve solved a lot
of cases for you. And yet crime has continued. I don’t care for cheese. I’m a “curd-mudgeon.” [laughter]

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