Donald Trump Jr.’s Book Tops New York Times Best Sellers List

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-Well, let’s get to some news. It just came out
that Donald Trump Jr.’s new book is now number 1 on the “New York
Times” bestseller list. When he heard that,
President Trump was like, “You lost me at ‘New York Times’
and lost me again at Don Jr.” [ Laughter ]
I’m just kidding. Trump was actually
pretty excited for Don Jr. He even tweeted,
“Wow, was just told my son’s book ‘Triggered’
is number 1 on the ‘New York Times’
bestseller list. Congratulations, Don.” That’s a pretty special moment
for Don Jr. Until a few minutes later
when Trump tweeted, “Just got hacked.
Ignore last tweet.” -Wow.
[ Laughter ] Come on. Why? Why? -Well, tomorrow the impeachment
hearings continue, and we’re going to hear
from Marie Yovanovitch, the ambassador to Ukraine
that Trump fired. I’m a little worried, because if every person Trump’s
ever fired is going to testify, the impeachment’s going
to last forever. It’s like — “Lil Jon, please raise
your right hand.” “What?!” Yeah. “Do you swear
to tell the truth?” “Okay!” [ Laughter ] Tomorrow, all the regular
daytime TV shows will be preempted again
for the impeachment hearings. But to keep viewers happy, they are getting
“The Price Is Right” announcer to tell the witnesses
to, “Come on down! You’re the next witness
in the Trump impeachment.” But after tomorrow’s testimony,
another eight witnesses are going to testify next week. Just a word of advice
for the Democrats. If you preempt
another five episodes of “The Kelly Clarkson Show,”
no one is going to support you. Okay? Come on. Don’t do that. Some entertainment news. I saw that Netflix
and Nickelodeon are teaming up to make movies
and TV shows for kids. Yeah, right now,
Netflix is competing with Disney to make sure your kids
never go outside again. -Oh.
[ Laughter ] -Everyone’s still talking
about Disney+. It launched this week. It features almost 500
different movies. -Wow.
-Yeah, I was looking through it this afternoon. And, sure,
it has all the classics, but there are
some pretty obscure movies that I didn’t even know existed. For instance — I’m not too sure
about this one — “Lady and the Tramp Stamp.” -Wow.
[ Laughter ] I’ve never heard of that. -You never — No, it’s real. I didn’t. Also, I had no idea that they made “Herbie:
Fully Loaded on Bath Salts.” [ Laughter ]
-What? Is Buddy Hackett in it?
I mean, that’s crazy. -This next one is unfortunate. “Sleeping Beauty Takes Ambien
and Tweets Something Racist.” -Oh, my gosh. [ Laughter ] They made that as a movie? -I mean, you have
a lot of options on Disney+. [ Laughter ] The next movie
will ruin anyone’s dinner. “Pluto Can’t Stop Scooting.”
-Okay. [ Laughter ] Why would they make that
as a movie? -I don’t know. I don’t even know
why I watched it twice. -You watched it twice?
-Yeah, I loved it. There’s also this
very unnecessary sequel — “The Sound of Music
from the Nazis’ Perspective.” [ Audience laughs, groans ] Why would they do that?
-Why? Why would you need that?
-I don’t know. -How was it? -I didn’t see that one.
-Okay. [ Laughter ]
This movie’s depressing. “Honey, We’re the Right Size,
But I Think We’ve Grown Apart.” -Wow. [ Laughter ] Wow, that’s a downer.
-There’s no twists or nothing. -Disney+?
-Yeah. And finally, check this one out. “Frying Dory.” I mean —
-Oh, my — [ Audience laughs, groans ] The omega — The omega-3s alone. -Yeah, yeah. It’s good — It’s heart health.
It’s heart health. -Some tech news, though.
Apple just announced that they’re launching
their most powerful laptop ever, the new MacBook Pro,
at a cost of $6,000. -Ooh. -Yeah, $6,000 for something hot
to sit on your lap. Or as most guys call that,
a bachelor party. Hey. And this is cool. The world’s largest Starbucks
opens tomorrow in Chicago. Check this out. Look at that.
[ Audience murmurs ] The place is huge.
It’s 35,000 square feet. Five stories high. Best of all, it has two outlets. -Oh. [ Laughter ] “You gonna be done
with that outlet?” -That’s right. It’s a Starbucks
that’s five stories high. I think I know
how this happened. When the builders said,
“What size do you want?” the Starbucks people
were all like, “Tall.” [ Laughter ] Seriously, the Starbucks
is massive. I’ll give you an idea. When
you ask for the bathroom key, it’s attached to a car door. -Wow.
[ Laughter ] -I saw that food brands
Post and Hostess — [ Laughter ]
That’s how — That’s how big it is.
-That’s how big it is. That’s a pretty big thing. Cars are pretty big.
-Yeah. I always love
that they embarrass you with those keys to the bathroom. Like, “Can I have the key to the
bathroom?” They’re like, “Sure,” and they give you
like a hub cap or something. -Or a cinder block.
-A giant espresso machine. “I’ll take it.
Don’t embarrass me.” I saw that food brands
Post and Hostess are teaming up to make a Twinkies cereal. That story again —
Post and Hostess are teaming up to give stoners diabetes. [ Laughter ] And, you guys, finally,
I’m very excited about this. Alex Rodriguez
is my guest tonight. [ Cheers and applause ] He’s here promoting his show
called “Back in the Game,” which is about helping athletes
manage their finances. A-Rod has some really good
financial advice. He tells people it helps
to save, it helps to invest, and it helps to marry an actress
worth half a billion dollars. We have a great show.

71 comments

  1. You DO know that Daddy Trump bulk bought the book to make the book come to top seller list. Everything that corrupt Grifter touches turns rotten!

  2. There's a dagger beside the book on the New York times list meaning somebody bought it in bulk. Probably going to rot in someone's warehouse.

  3. Best sellers are decided before a single copy hits shelves. The "best seller" list has been a marketing ploy for many decades. It is pure elitist commercial garbage and is in no way a measurement of value.

  4. Dory is still all right. It turns out Frying Dory was a Comedy Central special. But his ego was a little bruised afterwards because of all the "you smell like a fish" jokes.

  5. It's reported that someone has been buying the book IN BULK! His orange daddy? Or perhaps Junior himself or his GOILfriend? Probably to "puff up" sales so he could "puff out" his tiny triggered chest. Ugh. Gross family.

  6. Yeah His Book Topped The Best Seller's List Because people were buying his book to burn them or use them as toilet papers.

  7. Jimmy's hair looks amazeballs in this episode! Jimmy, do you obsessively read your YouTube comments? Right now you look like a Hollywood icon from like 1965. Debonair! Love it

  8. How much more money do this Trumph family want? Their father is earning mega bucks as president of USA, the children keep trying to squeeze money from wherever. Children getting salary for odd jobs done as White House tenants. Daughter is doing fashion sales, son in law is rumoured to be saudi arabia contact and saudis are known for their great generosity. Now Junior is doing writing. His book has made top spot by someone doing bulk buying! Did his father do this to help him out? Come on junior, we Joe public cannot be that fooled!!! Watch out as dad gives a copy to each person he meets.

  9. Just to make this clear: Trump's campaign bought that garbage "book", he paid a ghostwriter for, in bulk and gave one for free to every donor to his campaign! We all know, that the people still supporting Trump don't read, or are the people, who tell those lies… both groups won't read that pitiful excuse of a book. Another stunt by a family, who is as real as Dolly Parton's tits.

  10. @jimmyfallon
    I'm hoping I misunderstood… You did not just take a jab at Kelly Clarkson? At least she's real AF. Don't be fake with your "fake laughs" and your "oh, my God😮, you're the greatest" moments. Come on Jimmy! You're better than that. Be a little more creative than taking digs at daytime TV WOMEN host. Don't be jealous that they Will eventually take over late night!

  11. I haven’t watched Jimmy Fallon for a while. I spend more time watching Seth, Stephen, and the other Jimmy. Is is just me, or does this Jimmy seem to always be reading the cue cards?

  12. Who wrote JRs book?? Dad hired Tony Schwartz to write ART OF THE DEAL which Tony embellished to feed Don's massive ego…Like to know inside story if JRs book…He certainly was a mess on The View. Arrogance reigns in those genes.

  13. What a little loser Jimmy fallon is hating on someone because he's not allowed his own opinion. He'd shit his pants face to face with donald

  14. Dumpster Jr. is on the best seller list because people are amazed he knows how to write
    And of course there are a crapload of people buying it for the humor

  15. Don jr. Book is as trash is as his dumbass and thats including his lunitic lying delusional father and the whole criminal family

  16. People his family bought the bulk of books so they can sell more books and say he us a best seller. Really? Dont believe the story. It was a bad idea.

  17. Trump's campaign 2020 bought up tons of copies of the book in order to pad those sales and make it look like a bestseller. LOL… Way to go Trump money donors…

  18. Trump did more to destroy the advance of democracy by undermining the State Dept, intelligence community and election process in his first 11 months than the Russians and all other hostile forces were able to do over the last 230 years. Yovanovitch is only one of the many, many, many examples of Trump fulfilling Putin's desire to weaken the Deep State Dept, intelligence community and election process. Putin has played him like the orange haired sock puppet he is. Has he gotten any of the Moscow videos back yet for his service?Trump Tower Moscow is shining brightly on the horizon. Perhaps 2, or 3 more treasons? What is shocking is that no one finds it unusual or alarming that Trump has and continues to greatly weaken our vital agencies and give hostile countries wide open opportunity to undermine our democracy and Constitution. What is alarming is seeing our lawmakers, people sworn to uphold and protect the Constitution, cheering Trump on in his efforts to weaken and destroy the mainstays of it's protection, the Deep State Dept, intelligence community and election process, aided and abetted by the GOP leadership. That in itself should constitute treason, executive prerogative, quid pro quo or not.

  19. Imagine how triggered you have to get to write a book bitching about how a majority of the country is “triggered”

    How pathetic can that greasy bastard be

  20. Well it is easy to make you’re book the best sell – when you have so many people that will go out and by then by the hundreds because if they do not they will be dragged throw the mad because you dare not kiss your ass.

  21. But with apple you are paying 1000 for the computer but then 5000 for the name. Well apple is still better then trump you pay 50 cents for him will you pay 30000+ for his name.

  22. Love the irony that all the liberal haters are triggered that Trump Jr's book was a best-seller. A book called "Triggered". You can't make this up, liberal are that dumb to fall for it.

  23. These late night clowns should do something to bring this country together instead of constantly sowing hate and confrontations –

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