Don’t Trash Talk New York | Hardly Working

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– Temecula sounds so fun. I’m from Philly. – Aw that’s great. Brennan where are you from? – I’m from New York. – Ugh, that awful place. – Helltown for bastard people. (laughing) Patrick what about you? – Oh, I’m from Cincinnati, Ohio. – I bet that’s nice. – Why do you bet that’s nice? – It’s his hometown. I was just trying to be polite. – You weren’t polite about where I’m from. You called it a helltown
for bastard people. – Yeah Brennan, you’re from New York. It’s okay to be rude when you’re talking about New York. – I mean it is a rotten tattered asshole full of wretched horrors. – I went there once on
a four hour field trip and it wasn’t what I liked. – I went there once and there
was a trash on the ground. – A whole trash? – A whole trash on the ground. – Okay, what about the subway? – [Ally] The subway. – [Patrick] Don’t get me
started on the subway. – Brennan are you listening? We’re making fun of the
place where your family lives and the place that made you who you are because it has the subway,
which we don’t like. – Interesting. Rekha, how does Philly handle its 24-hour public transit system? – Oh, well we don’t have
24-hour public trans- – Oh you don’t have that? Fascinating, you don’t have that. See in New York, we have
a public transit system that transports millions
of passengers everyday, seven days a week, 365 days a year. Patrick, what about the
one horse russ-bucket piece of shit you crawled out of? They got covered wagons there yet? – Hey man, that’s my hometown
you’re talking about. – Exactly. I’ve got a hometown too, but you know what I have to do? I have to listen to
every gap-toothed yokel with a ticket for the Circle Line talk about their disappointing
trip to M&Ms world. Meanwhile, I say word one
about whatever strip mall you hay seeds you tumbled
out of and I’m the asshole. – Hay seeds? We’re all from cit- – Don’t you dare say cities. I’ve had more people
up the crack of my ass in a goddamn elevator
ride than you bumpkins have got in your quaint
little hamlets put together. – Hamlet? Cincinnati is not a hamlet. We have several museums. – Several museums? Well, several museums, you don’t say? Buddy, I got museums
on my block like you’ve got Cracker Barrel’s on your interstate. You read me? – Yes. – New York is crowded. – Yeah, ’cause you looky-loos keep coming. Stay home and it’ll be less crowded. – New Yorkers never smile. – Why would we? You’re there. – Yeah, but everyone’s so drunk and angry. – That’s true, but those
people aren’t New Yorkers, they’re from Long Island. – Well, then why is
everyone always talking shit about New York? Nobody ever talks shit about Cincinnati. – That’s actually a great point. You never hear people talk
shit about Mudville either. – Mudville? – Precisely. You wanna know the real
reason you guys all talk shit about New York? (lullaby music) You wanna know why? Because deep down, you wanted to love it, but you couldn’t. Because you weren’t strong enough. Oh, my apartment’s so small. It’s not comfy enough. There’s not little trees
on my little block. Oh, I’m scared because
I saw a little rat lay a little egg inside a little
vagrant’s open knife-wound. – Brennan, isn’t this
kind of proving our point? – Of course it is. (suspenseful music) Of course it’s proving your point. You think I don’t know my own hometown? You think I don’t know what it’s like? I have seen crust punks
suck each other off in the open guitar case
of a weeping busker. I have stepped in puddles so deep, and so cold, that I was
barely the same person by the time I stepped out. And one time, I accidentally went outside during SantaCon. And I loved every second of it. You don’t like New York? Fine. Good. More for me. It’s not for you anyway. But just because you
saw my hometown in your favorite movie doesn’t give you the right to talk shit about it right to my face. Be decent. I don’t want to have to
come for whatever mid-range zip code spawned your country mouse ass after I look up how to
roast it in the encyclopedia of places nobody gives a shit about. (slurping) – Okay, well Brennan, if
you love New York so much, why are you in L.A.? – I mean I had to get out of there. – I mean, can I just say it? The grind.

100 comments

  1. New York sucks a lot, just like Las Vegas! If you have money anywhere is a shit hole and a great place at once!

  2. everyday i enter a brennan's voice apraciation moment today i am watching every single one and i am so glad

  3. This is my favourite skit on all of CollegeHumor. You can tell this is 20% comedy and 80% Brennan's pent-up frustrations from a lifetime of dealing with this kind of stuff.

  4. Pretty funny seeing this video again and hearing him talk about Santacon considering the new episodes of Dimension 20 are centered around New York and Santacon. LOL

  5. Men telling women, "You should smile more." = sexism
    Everyone telling New Yorkers, "You should smile more." = A-OK

  6. A whole trash on the ground? Why are you so upset about that? In the Philippines there are piles of it everywhere. Shait in the streets, rivers floating with garbages and it's just rare to see places that's actually devoid of trash. And it's supposed to be a famous vacation spot hehe… you ain't seen the other side!

  7. Man, Brennan is sure getting a lot of love. It'd be bad if something were to…..happen to him.

    Speaking of, does trapp Still work at College humor?

  8. This is reminiscent of how Brits from other cities hate on London. Its the political, cultural and economic hub of the country yet they shit on it just because you cant high five and fist bump every single person you meet like a crazy person! "Oh I could never ask for directions in London" ever heard of Google fucking Maps?! But yeah theyre just jealous because tourists arent queueing up to visit podunk Bradford, or that cesspool of a town they call Grimsby. London #1!!!

  9. My fam lives in Baton Rouge and it’s so much worse. The busses don’t work. There’s no subway or metro. Nobody knows how to drive right and it’s one big time capsule. I love it.

  10. I’ve visited NYC a couple of times. Was not a fan of how crowded it was. I’d take DC or my original home town (Annapolis) any day.

  11. Brennan's delivery of that line at 2:44 "Because you weren't… *strong enough.*" is actually top-tier. I love him.

  12. I’m not from America but this is so true any place which is remotely more populated and with better development where people swarm to to get jobs are always trashed talked about .

  13. Funny that this popped up on my feed today after the Trump v Baltimore stuff happened. Baltimore being a “rat and rodent infested” city and also where I’m from.

  14. Is this the inspiration for the most recent Dimension 20 series The Unsleeping City?
    The elements described here are uncannily similar, albeit few, to how NY was protrayed there.

    Regardless, awesome work, had to come back to this vid after watching the Unsleeping City episodes. Once again, awesome work.

  15. Public transit only forces you to depend on someone else taking you somewhere. You have grown ass people coming out of New York who can’t drive because they always were carted around by someone else. They cry and are always asking for rides. Super annoying. I always hear” I miss the subway it’s midnight how am I going to get home?” Stupid should have invested in a car but no your paying $3,000 a month in rent to take a subway when you could have owned a house and three cars.

  16. New Yorker Born and bred here and the only thing I think this near flawless bit is missing is someone from Detroit. Those hard bastards get a pass on talking shit about any city they want. "None of you guys getto talk shit about New York, except that guy he's from Detroit , it's all he's got"

  17. NYC is so weird. I live on Long Island where everything is suburban. When you get to the city and it's a massive urban center with millions of people. Then if you leave the city and continue upstate , it's all rural and there is forests and wildlife everywhere. It is a massive place in the middle of nowhere, but nobody thinks about it like that.

  18. Bitch I'm from Mexico City…If it doesn't take you an entire day to reach one extreme of the city to the other it ain't a real city.

  19. "nobody makes fun of Cincinnati" Im from Cleveland and the only city that gets more shit that Cincinnati here is Pittsburgh

  20. Being from London, can I just say that all US cities suck balls, New York, LA, SAN Francisco, SAN Diego, Miami, every place in the US is dirty, ugly, and worst of all overly expensive and loved for no reason, literally there are no places in the US that can compare to any city in England, Spain, Italy and even as much as it pains me to say it France.

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