Drunk History – Solving Los Angeles’s Water Crisis

Posted by


– Hello, I’m Jeremy Konner. And today we’re going
to talk about– – [laughs] Sorry. [laughter] That’s hello.You want to say hello.– I’m so [bleep] up, man. – No, I see. You’re looking at me over here, and I’m over here. – You’re the goddamn
director of this.– I know.I’m the goddamn director
of this.
So far,
my favorite quote.
Go on. – Hello, I’m Jeremy Konner. And today we’re going
to be talking about the L.A. aqueduct. – Cheers.
– Cheers.– Aqueduct.– So William Mulholland
is the head
of the L.A. city water company.And he realizes, like,We need to figure something
out,
because L.A. is growing.And either L.A.
has to stop growing
or we have to figure out
more…water.
Mulholland goes to Fred Eaton.I mean, he’s just
the most powerful man.
And he’s like,
Hey, you’re my best friend.
You’re my mentor.We’re [bleep]-ed.Eaton is like,There is a placethat I used to
go when I was a kid.
It’s a [bleep]-ing, like,
200 miles away.
I know.It sounds nuts.But shut the [bleep] up.It’s gonna save
all of our problems.
Mulholland’s like…I’m interested,
but I’m not…
like, 100% on your page,
but I–
I’m on your page.– But he’s on a page.– But he’s on the page.So they go up
to the Owens Valley,
and Eaton is like,This lake is 4,000 feet
above sea level.
Los Angeles,just a couple feet
above sea level.
Mulholland’s like,Oh, my God,
it’s all downhill.
Broop, all the way
to L.A., 250 miles.
Broop,
all the way to L.A.
You just [bleep]-ing
build a pipe,
broop,
and you get to L.A.But Eaton says,We’re gonna have
to break some laws.
We’re gonna have to do
some shady, shady…
Can we watch
“My Cousin Vinny”?
– No, you were talking. – You don’t want to watch
“My Cousin Vinny”? – Let’s just continue
on the story. – Oh, I was saying that– [stuttering] [laughter]So Eaton starts buying upall of the Owens Valley,
illegally,
because they need
the water rights.
And they get the L.A. Times
to publish fake stories,
like, “We’re all gonna die.Guys, if we don’t have water,
we’re all gonna die.”
And it’s all nonsense.It’s all fake.There’s spies,
there’s bribery,
there’s manipulation.I mean, these guys
were the worst–
worse than anyone.But the most [bleep]-ed up
thing is,Eaton, he sneaks off
to his buddies.
This is
the San Fernando Syndicate.
And he’s like,There’s this big ah–big-ass basin in
the San Fernando Valley
that just [bleep]-ing
is just chilling out here.
Buy up land
in the San Fernando Valley.
And then,
when the water comes,
we’re all gonna make
gazillions.
“Chinatown,” man. And eventually,the people of L.A. vote
to create the aqueduct.
This is a [bleep]-ing pipein 1904, five, six, seven,
whatever,
250 miles long.On the opening,
William Mulholland
turns on the water,
and he’s like,
There it is.Take it.And the water starts
[bleep]-ing shooting out.
And that is the great moment
of William Mulholland’s…
something.Hey. – Oh, Jesus. – This is so stupid. [laughter] – [groaning] Hello. – Hi, Jer. What year are we in? – I don’t know.
– Yes, you do.After 1913,water is coming to L.A.
like nobody’s business.
The population
is [bleep] exploding.
There’s palm trees.Palm trees don’t exist
in Los Angeles.
It’s a desert. But the people who profit
most out of thisis Eaton and his buddies.Then, in the 1920s, there’s a drought,
and it’s a real drought.It’s a [bleep]-ing
for real,
for real, for real,
for real.
And Mulholland says,Oh, my God,
like, this is–
We need a reservoir.Mulholland goes to Eaton.Eaton has bought up
the only dam site
in the entire Owens Valley.And he’s like,You can have my dam site
for $1 million.
And Mulholland’s like…[distant moaning sound] [laughter] I didn’t do that.So Mulholland’s like,
[bleep] it.
I’m gonna build
the goddamn reservoir,
and it’s gonna be
[bleep]-ing beautiful,
and, m’wah, [bleep] you.And he [bleep]-ing built
the St. Francis Dam
in San Francis–
Francisquito.
And everything is great.And then they go,Hey, William Mulholland,
there’s a leak.
And William Mulholland’s like,I’m kind of in the middle
of a power play.
I ain’t worried about
that [bleep] [bleep], dawg.
He goes to sleep.That night,he gets a phone call
in the night.
The dam has broke.There are more dead than
the San Francisco earthquake.
And this was
William Mulholland’s downfall.
But in the end, between Mulholland and Eaton,
they were–they created Los Angeles,but really Mulholland,if it weren’t for him, there would be no Los Angeles. – Cheers. – L.A. is a [bleep]-ing
nonsense of nonsenses. And it’s the water.

100 comments

  1. Shit, I thought the title said "waiter crisis." A water crisis makes so much more sense… still, I would tip money to see them solve the waiter crisis.

  2. I really love the show drunk history , all of em. Only thing it feels weird is this guy who always there listening. Do we even need him?

  3. Only real Tenacious D fans would know that the guy who played "Fred Eaton" in this was Rage Kage. The guitarist from Tenacious D.

  4. I really love everything about this show. Idk if there are problems, inaccuracies, etc., but I've loved everything about it for a long time.
    I doubt anyone would see this, but if you do, thank you for making this show. It really helped me during a very hard time because it gave me friends that told me fascinating stories, and gave me smiles when I had none.
    Bless y'all.

  5. Nobody acts like this when they’re drunk. And I get drunk with a lot of people all the time! 🤣 He’s either a lightweight pussy or faking it or he’s tripping off acid or shrooms. Acid or shrooms would make more sense by the way he’s acting

  6. This was so awesome and interesting. I learned a lot. Whole film and story telling was awesome. Thanks. I learned a lot

  7. wait a minute, fake news about climate change and the media is propagating lies in order for us to give up our land and rights? 1904

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *