How To Become President of the United States

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Hey Thoughty2 Here, The 30th US president Calvin Coolidge liked
to have his head rubbed with petroleum jelly whilst eating his breakfast and Abraham Lincoln
was also a licensed bartender. But how do you become president of the United
States? There are only three official pre-requisites
to becoming president: You must have been born in the United States
of America. You must have lived in America for 14 years
and you must be at least 35 years of age. But even if you fit all three of these requirements,
there are a bunch of unofficial rules to become president. Such as: Be Male. There has never been a Female president
of the US. Don’t have a serious criminal record. George
W. Bush had a DUI conviction in 1976. But do you really think people are going to vote
for an armed robber? Don’t be fat. There have only been five presidents
who were technically obese, the largest of these was 27th president, William Howard Taft,
who weighed in at 335 pounds. But since the days of TV, there hasn’t been a single obese
president. Be straight. The US public has never elected
an openly gay president. The president with the strongest evidence of being homosexual
was 15th president James Buchanan. Be a devout Christian. 76% of Americans are
Christians and 92% believe in a higher power so don’t think you’re getting in if you’re
an atheist, or any other religion. Be tall and handsome. In approximately 75%
of elections the taller and better-looking candidate wins. You’re not allowed to sweat or make the American
public aware that you have any normal bodily functions whatsoever. During the infamous
1960, Kennedy vs Nixon debates. Kennedy was a natural on camera whereas a more timid Nixon,
having just come off the flu, started to sweat profusely under the hot studio lights. Kennedy
later won the vote 49.7% to 49.5%. Polls revealed that more than half of all voters had been
influenced by the debates. And finally, don’t claim to have invented
the internet, in 2000 Al Gore lost the presidential election partially because, whilst ticking
off a list of accomplishments he let slip “During my service in the United States Congress,
I took initiative in creating the Internet”. So what’s the lesson here? If you want to
be president, never say anything which can be taken out of context or is just plain wrong. Sadly, if you don’t fit all of these criteria,
the US public are unlikely to vote for you. So you’re a Straight, Law-Abiding, Thin, Tall,
Handsome, Male, American Christian. What next? Well, it also helps to be wealthy, charismatic,
confident, an exemplary public speaker, have impeccable body language, an Ivy League education,
lots and lots of wealthy friends in powerful places, European ancestry, a wife and kids,
strong debating skills and a clear perspective on all current issues. Providing you tick all the boxes, how do you
start your presidential campaign? The first step is to secure a good job in
US politics or the military. In the last 70 years, every major party presidential nominee
has been either a sitting or former US senator, governor, vice-president or five-star general. Second, you need to form an exploratory committee,
the purpose of this committee is to test the waters, raise money for your campaign and
decide if you really have what it takes to become president. This can begin up to two
years before the election. During this time if you receive significant
interest from the media, campaign strategists and potential donors you can formally declare
your candidacy and launch your presidential campaign. You will also need to choose a vice
president candidate. The third step is campaigning, this means
travelling throughout the country to gain the support of the public for your political
party and candidacy. This usually involves holding rallies, participating in debates,
kissing babies, wining and dining and posing for photographs. Like most parties, you should start your campaigning
in Iowa, New Hampshire and South Carolina, because these states hold the first contests
of the campaign in January before the elections. So good performance here can make or break
your campaign. You will also need to spend a lot of money
on advertising. Barack Obama’s party spent $1.123 billion during his campaign. In the final weeks before the elections, the
contenders focus their efforts on the so-called “battleground” states, where the electorate
is more or less evenly divided and hence the outcome is uncertain. In these key remaining
states, campaign volunteers and paid staff furiously work the telephones and go door
to door to win support for their party. Finally it’s time for the elections, or the
“Popular Vote”. In America this is always held on the first Tuesday after the first
Monday in November. Every 4 years. Voters from every state vote for their favourable
president and vice president candidates. But voters aren’t actually voting directly
for their chosen candidate. They are actually voting for “electors”, who are pledged to
a specific candidate and are expected to, but don’t always, vote for that candidate
in a second, final election. This process is known as the “Electoral College”. Each
state has a certain number of electors in the college, based on the size of its population.
In total there are 538 electors in the electoral college. Because of this system, a candidate can become
president without winning the popular vote, if the chosen electors don’t vote as expected.
This happened in the 2000 George W. Bush vs. Al Gore election. Congratulations, you’ve passed the world’s
hardest job interview. For all your efforts you’re now a prisoner of the White House,
unable to even walk across the street without a legion of Secret Service agents and a group
of aides tagging along. You will have to endure 24/7 scrutiny of your
every word and action. And work 12 hour days where your schedule is planned to the minute. Don’t forget the ongoing and relentless assault
from hostile news and media and opposition parties dedicated to impeding your every move. Only difficult decisions will reach your desk,
the easy ones are all taken care of at lower levels of your administration. What’s your reward for all this? Well you
get an annual salary of $400,000 per year, plus an annual expense, travel and entertainment
account, these bonuses bring your total salary to $550,000 per year. Which seems like a lot,
but is actually a rather measly wage compared to your responsibilities. Most presidents
could earn a lot more if they worked in the private sector. So what’s the real reward
for all your hardships? You will go down in the history books alongside George Washington
and you get to put your personal stamp on a country of 313.9 million people, and subsequently
the world.

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