Seth’s Favorite Jokes of the Week: New York Times’ 2020 Endorsement, the Impeachment Trial

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-These are our favorite Jokes of the Week. [ Whistling and applause ] Actor Mark Wahlberg
and TV host Dr. Oz had been fighting
on social media this week about the importance
of breakfast in people’s diets. Call me crazy, but I’m gonna
side with the medical expert over Dr. Oz.
[ Laughter ] President Trump’s
campaign manager last night dismissed the coverage
of the impeachment trial, saying, “It’s like
watching paint dry.” You know, like you do sometimes
after you cover something up. [ Audience “Oohs,” laughter ] A man in Rhode Island
shot himself in the scrotum last week
while he was in bed. To be fair, he did say, “I think I’m going to go
hit the sack. [ Laughter and applause ] The New York Times
yesterday endorsed both Senators Elizabeth Warren
and Amy Klobuchar. What?! You can’t! [ Cheering and applause ] No, no, no.
You can’t pick both! That’s like
[ Laughter ] endorsing Coke and Pepsi and… I think we all know
which one’s Pepsi. [ Laughter and applause ] Kim Kardashian released
a trailer this weekend for her new two-hour
documentary called “Kim Kardashian:
The Justice Project,” not to be confused with Kanye’s
new two-hour documentary, called “Kanye: The Kanye Kanye.” [ Laughter and applause ] ♪♪ [ Cheering and applause ]

12 comments

  1. Me: Come on man….

    Sean Hannity: Yeah… but Daddy Trump also likes to create stupid nicknames for all his political opponents too, because the ignorant imbeciles who buy our nonsense have no idea that doing that is a perfect indicator of an inferior, bad faith and deceitful argument and therefore an outright, upfront admission of defeat…

    Me: LOL!!!! OMG!! SEAN, I have so much more respect for you just now… I had no idea that you were capable of speaking a coherent TRUE sentence…. WOW

  2. Hard question: but Who would make a genuinely WORSE President than trump?
    I’ll start it off by saying….Don King. Your turn!

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