Get your self-gratification! Can’t have
a canceling without self-gratification! You are hereby sentenced
to be publicly canceled by having thy head smoked — This will be a good one. Yea, love a good canceling! She’s been canceled, yeah? Shh! Shut out, on the
bog pile of shame for the crime of saying
something offensive 11 years ago! [cheers] 11 years ago! Let’s
judge past statements by present-day perspective. It’s like saying the
same thing today, kinda! Don’t I get a trial? No! This is a canceling. No due process. We are the jury! Our anger makes us qualified. Plus, we’re all perfect. Yea, we’re all perfect! You
may be granted a reprieve if you apologize. Of course, I apologize. I’m sorry that you
were offended. Sorry that we’re offended? That’s a non-apology. That’s worse than saying nothing. Well, if apologizing
makes it worse, what’s the point of
apologizing at all? She hates apologizing! Cancel
her even more. Cancel her! Fare thee well, and may you never again
utter the phrase, “[Expletive] the peasants!” [gasps] He just said something
bad about peasants. I‘m a peasant, and I’m offended. No, I said, uh, she said, “[Expletive]
the peasants!” Oh my god! He said it again. No, I love peasants. I would never say “[Expletive] — ” Cancel him! [chanting] I apologize, unreservedly. That’s not a good
enough apology. I thought it was all right.
An apology apologist! He’s for apologies. Get him. Oh hang on hang on. I’m confused. Are we against him, for
being for apologies? Or against her, for being
against apologies? Because — That’s irrelevant. What matters is that you’re
angry. Cancel him! [chanting] But we’re supposed
to be canceling her! Well, that was whole minutes ago. Who knows? Things we say today might
be offensive in the future. She’s right, you might have
offended me in the future. Well, you might be offending
me in the future right now. Pre-cancel! Pre-cancel!
It’s a pre-canceling! I hereby increase your
taxes by 150 percent. No? Well, I’m going to burn
your crops too. I’ll just get on with it then, shall I? Could I come along?
Yes, yes please. Age before beauty!